This may be TMI

Tomorrow is a big day for me.  I am having my tubes basically tied and I will no longer be able to have babies.  I am so conflicted.  And, kind of sad.  And, kind of glad.  Make sense?
Here's the deal.  I have an endometrial polyp which causes constant issues as  a woman, especially when you wear white.  Get it? 
So, in order to fix it I need to have an endometrial ablation which will make my uterus unable to carry another baby.  So, I am tying my tubes in the process. 
Sad.
No little girl in my future.
Then, I think, why am I sad when I have three perfect little boys who bring me the most joy I have ever had and will ever have in my life.  I think it is just the fact that it is happening and it is so final.  Final.  Yep, final. 
Sam just came in and we were visitng and he said "ok mommy" in the sweetest voice. He is almost nine and still has the sweetest voice.  People may not get this but I have gone thru the mourning process of not having a girl.  Yes, it required a mourning process.  I always KNEW I would have a girl.  A little girl who would hopefully be a great friend as well.  My boys are my friends too but it is different.  They are boys.

So, tomorrow marks a final passage in my life.  It seems so strange.  It was not that long ago that I started my married life and then the journey of motherhood and now the window of having children is closing, fast.  I am allowed to be melancholy.

It is probably a wonderful thing that the timing of Miss Cora is this weekend as this will be a great diversion.  Looking forward to her and our next chapter.


Wine is probably not helping this post :)

 

Little Miss Cora is a coming

Last year about this time I blogged that my twins were graduating pre-k and headed to kinder.  My window of having kids was closing as I am getting older and will be, a-hem, 40 later this year and have an almost 9 year old and two 6 year olds.  I thought maybe a puppy was the way to go.  Alittle girl puppy to adore and love.  Not to mention my boys would be in heaven!

Well, we have done it.  The Walton family will welcome Miss Cora Memorial Day weekend and we are excited.  At least I am.  The boys don't know and we are going to surprise them.  Ryan acts like he does not want her but get a few beers in him and he talks all about her.

I am getting a little nervous as we have not had animals other than fish and those die every 3 months and we just flush and replace.

But, I have really given this a lot of thought over the last year and for the last 4 months nonstop.  So, get ready Walton boys, a furry girl is coming!

Tooth Fairy made a visit to Hayes

In my last post I mentioned that Hayes had a tooth that bled a little.  Well, Monday night Hayes was eating his dinner when he said his tooth was bleeding.  Well, it sure was, right out the middle.  Took him to Dr. Witte who said his cross bite and his chipped tooth combined to grind the back portion of the tooth away exposing the pulp.  Result, toothless Hayes.  He is so stinkin cute!  Poor guy was really upset about it and did not care for it but had to be done.  By last night he was better.  Especially because he lost a tooth before Ben.  Ben was not pleased about being the only one who had not lost teeth but it has to be someone.